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The Australian Guitar Hero Makes His Last Stand letra
In a tiny inner city pub the amps were being stacked;
Leads were getting wound up; it was full of pissed ANZACS;
"Got no more gigs for Tuesday nights," said the barman to the Star,
"We're putting pockies in the lounge, and strippers in the bar."
The Star, he raised his finger and said, "Fuck this fucking hole!"
But to his faithful roadie he said, "It's the death of rock and roll.
There ain't a single place that's left to play amplified guitar -
Every place is serving long blacks or has become a Tapas bar."
His dirty denim jacket was gaffered and turning black;
Hair was missing on his forehead, but it reached right down his back.
"I don't blame that barman bastard," he told his roadie - "Hey, fuck no:
I blame all those faggot wankers who are playing this techno.
`Brothers can work it out' - get fucked. That can kiss my rotting arse.
Work out what happened to real music is what I'd like to ask.
Everything is all machine, run with MIDI and A- DAT;
But all they do is go ping ping ping, like a truck that's backing back.
Who the fuck are the Chemical Brothers, that they now call the shots?
Goldie is the name of a light beer, Elastica holds up socks."
The roadie sat there silent next to the ejaculating Star.
"What the fucking point of drum 'n' bass if no one can play guitar?"
"And have you seen those fucking clubbers with their peroxided dreads,
Dressed up in fucking Addidas like fucking fucked fuck heads?
I wouldn't drop a tab of E if you fucking paid me man -
I've got the guts for L.S.D; and the only jungle I know was 'Nam."
His roadie sat, still silent, but then he finally began to speak:
"Actually, Star, I maybe should have told you this last week,
But I've scored a job as D.J. at the latest techno club.
I'm sick of working with a loser. See ya later, bub."
Well, the roadie owned the p.a. and the roadie owned the ute
And the roadie told Star to get right out or he'd bash one up his chute.
And there on that cold freeway Star walked along alone -
Of course, he been kicked out half way between emergency telephones.
"Fuck youse all," said Star aloud in the emergency stopping lane,
"To quote from the chick Juliet, Hey, what's in a name?
A good song's just a good song, just the same as long ago;
But dress it up in something new, and suddenly you're Picasso,
Every white balled Pommy cunt thinks that you are so hip -
Read N.M.E. from ten years ago, and there's all the same dickslip;
Prodigy are just the band who are getting it this year -
Rolling Stone's got no more cred than fucking New Idea."
Star's anguished voice rose in grief as he cried unto the moon:
"In the end, when all is said, a tune's just a fucking tune."
Star played his amp far too loud - his hearing was sort of gone,
So he never heard the grinding squeal as the truckie put the brakes on.
Twenty six of that road train's wheels played a tune upon his head.
"He just wandered into the traffic," the distraught diver said.
The cops had seen it all before; the ambo's washed the freeway clean -
There's no contest when you put a man up against a machine.
Tism - Letras
- (he'll Never Be An) 'ol Man River
- (i Think I've Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out
- (i'm Gonna Sit Right Down And) Whittle Away My Fur
- (there's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite
- 40 Years - Then Death
- A Faceful Of Divertimenti
- Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
- All Homeboys Are Dickheads
- All Ordinaries Index
- Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'don't Walk'
- And The Ass Said To The Angel: 'wanna Play Kick To
- Apology Of The Thai Drug Runner
- Aussiemandias
- Australia - The World's Suburb
- Babies Bite Back
- Backstage With Ron Hitler
- Bash This Up Your Ginger
- Been Caught Wankin'
- Bfw
- Bishop = Handjob
- Boot Party
- Channel Turd
- Choose Bad Smack
- Come Back Dj, Your Record Is Scratched
- Consumption Tax
- Dazed And Confucious
- Death Death Death Amway Amway Amway
- Defecate On My Face
- Denial Works For Me
- Dicktatorship
- Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen
- Drop The 'tude
- Dumb 'n' Base
- Eckermann Is Very Silly
- Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
- Existentialtism
- Ezra Pound - Axe King
- Ezra Pound - Axe King 2
- Father And Son
- Five Yards
- Fourteen Years In Rowville
- Fuck 'em, Fuck 'em - The Lot Of 'em
- Garbage
- Gas! Gas! An Ecstacy Of Fumbling
- Get Thee In My Behind, Satan
- Get Thee To A Nunnery
- Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown
- Give Up For Australia
- Go The Knuckle
- Gotta Root Out Of It
- Great Expectorations
- Greg! The Stop Sign!
- Hello To All Our New Tism Fans
- Honk If You Love Fred Durst
- I Don't Want Tism, I Want A Girlfriend
- I Drive A Truck
- I Go Off
- I Might Be A Cunt, But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt
- I Shit Me
- I'll 'ave Ya
- I'm Interested In Apathy
- I'm Into Led Zep
- If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie
- If You Want The Toilet, You're In It
- If You're Creative, Get Stuffed
- If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished
- If You're Ugly, Forget It
- In Defense Of Poetry
- Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge
- Jesus Pots The White Ball
- Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode
- Julius Seizure (act Iii, Scene Ii, Verse 73-118)
- Jung Talent Time
- Kate, Fischer Of Men
- Kevin Borich Expressionism
- Kevin Borich Expressionism Parts 1,2 And 4
- Kill Americans
- Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush
- Leo's Toltoy
- Let's Club It To Death
- Let's Form A Company
- Life Kills
- Life Kills 2
- Lillee Caught Dilly Bowled Milli Vanilli
- Long Hard Thirst Needs A Big Cold Beer, But I Dr
- Lose Your Delusion Ii
- Loser, Losing, Lost
- Lyric For Jack
- Martin Scorcese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow
- Michael Hutchence In Hell
- Michael Jackson's Conveyor Belt
- Mistah Eliot - He Wanker
- Morrison Hostel
- Mourningtown Ride
- Mr. Ches Baragwanath - State Auditor General
- My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea
- My Generation
- Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours
- Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The House Of Repre
- Nick Cave And Jim Morrison Play Kick To Kick
- Opposite Day
- Play Mistral For Me
- Professor Derrida Deconstructs
- Pus
- Pus Of The Dead
- Put Your Dog To Sleep
- Rebel Without A Paunch
- Recorded By Triple J, Jan 23 1993, Melbourne Showg
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- Saturday Night Palsy
- Schoolies Week
- Sickie
- State Schools Are Great Schools
- Strictly Loungeroom
- Subliminal Satanic Message
- Take Your Love
- Tale Of Two Faeces
- Teenage Fucking Jesus
- Ten Points For A Razor Scooter
- The Art-income Dialectic
- The Australian Guitar Hero Makes His Last Stand
- The Back Upon Whic Jezza Jumped
- The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie
- The Ballad Of Paul Keating
- The Ballad Of The Semetic Nazi
- The Fosters Carpark Boogie
- The Judeo-christian Ethic
- The Law Of Repulsion After Orgasm
- The Love You Take Equals The Love You Make So Baby
- The Men's Room
- The Mordialloc Road Duplicator
- The Mystery Of The Artist Explained
- The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happier Is T
- The Parable Of Glenn Mcgrath's Haircut
- The Tism Boat Hire Offer
- The Tism Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues
- There's More Men In Children Than Wisdom Knows
- Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear
- Thunderbirds Are Coming Out
- Tism Club Song
- Untz Untz Untz Untz
- Volare
- Watering Systems
- We Are The Champignons
- Weddings, Parties, Anything
- Wham Bam Thank You Imam
- Whatareya
- While My Catarrh Gently Weeps
- Whinge Rock
- Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The
- X-treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse
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